by Susannah Grant posted on 11 May 2019


Looks like the weather is hotting up so maybe we need to keep our cool with some homemade ice cream. Now, this cheat’s recipe has long been a carefully guarded secret of mine…so if you’re reading this I will have to warn you about 3 potential consequences:

  • You will now be blacklisted from any of my dinner parties lest you divulge the secret recipe publicly to the other guests thus ruining my reputation as an industrious chef who toils tirelessly in the kitchen for 6 hours before having any friends round.
  • I may also have to kill you in case you tell other people I might know or meet in the future that in actual fact Susannah is a culinary fraud and has no idea how to make “proper” ice cream at all.
  • You will now join the official Cheat’s Ice Cream Addiction Club which costs 3 cm extra to your waist per year.

Provided none of the above concern you, you may read on totally carefree……..except if you’re a dentist.

The only part of this recipe that I’ve ever been honest about is its origin. It was passed onto me by the elder sister of a friend who now lives in a remote corner of Western Scotland ………….. presumably so that she can spoon in large chunks of instant ice cream without any irritating interruptions.  So imagine my horror whilst I was watching the BBC when renowned doyenne of British cuisine, Mary Berry cheekily announced that the recipe was hers. Absolute nonsense ……… it’s mine and now it’s yours.


Ingredients – serves 8 people or 6 servings if you’re bingeing on Netflix simultaneously

  • 200g Crunchie bars (use Twix or Oreos if Great Auntie Nora can’t send you any Crunchies in the post from Liverpool)
  • 260g condensed milk (just leave a couple of tablespoons in the standard 397g can………it’ll probably “evaporate” quite quickly..)
  • 500 ml whipping cream which you will have to have previously chilled


  1. Whip the cream to gentle peaks. Fold in condensed milk.
  2. Crush the Crunchie/Twix/Oreos into chunks, don’t vent out too much rage (on the Twixes or Oreos if Auntie Nora didn’t want to pay the postage) and fold into the cream and condensed milk mixture.
  3. Place in the freezer for three hours. I usually use a cake tin mould and serve it up in slices with a fruit coulis oozing down the sides. Err….my version of a coulis is a bagful of liquidized defrosted berries or even mango squirted on top of the ice cream.

Enjoy the heavenly reward for your 5 minute labours whilst you remember my 3 conditions………….you have been warned………..

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